If you really knew me.

4 Aug

If you really knew me,
you would know that i am stressed everyday because you tell me how fab my abs are.
Sometimes, i hold on to the thought that it would all go away overnight and tomorrow, it would be flabby wabby Shinna again.

I am scared.

Today, on an unconscious impulse, i opened multiple windows of online plus size stores and looking at sizes that used to fit me. At times, when i go into a store, i instinctively grab a size 12 or 14 still.

So if you think i’m strong everyday,
Nah.

Nevertheless,
My illusions wage a war with me every time, i fight it and no matter how long it takes, my consciousness stands strong until the ego waves the white flag.

xo Shinna

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