My ass has a story too.

29 Jan

3 years ago, I was confronted by a health problem.

A traumatic experience that made me change my lifestyle,
all Entirely caused by my poor eating habits since young,
and i finally felt the impact of it when i was 17.
I never really liked to bring it up, because people usually make a joke out of it.
I completely understand why, cos its my asshole that we’re talking about.
But, it is a serious matter and i hope you’ll listen to my story, cos i never want anyone else to go through i what i did,
It is really, not a laughing matter.
So promise me, you won’t poke fun, okay?
Please Read On.
Back in 2008, in the month of August, i was the regular student, active and occupied with school life.

Often settling my meals at the nearby macdonalds, and dropping by the econ minimart just outside the school to purchase snacks.
I find myself buying the Vanhouten chocolates all the time, probably at least 3 times a week, to munch on during long breaks.
I Loved the hazelnut chocolates.
I was a reckless eater,
deep fried food, chocolates and i always ordered coke or ice lemon tea.
(I was also heaviest when i was 17, you’ll see the pics next time)

I almost Never drank water,

despite the vigorous sports i was involved in school.
I never had a water bottle and i never really cared when i was thirsty, i just ate.
My body was running low on fluid for most of my life and i never knew it was the cause of my problem.
Also, i self-proclaim to be lactose intolerant because i hated the smell and taste of dairy products like milk and cheese.
Thus, my body was lacking in a lot of nutrients and vitamins.
That is Not Funny.
This lifestyle took a toll on my body as i felt it subtlely over the years.
My body gave me the final warning.
Because of my irregular diet,
i’ve always suffered from constipation.
In July 2008, my bowel movements were increasingly irregular, it always has been but this time it was worse.
i went to the loo maybe once a week.
It was so bad, sometimes it could be once in 10 days.
I was terrified from hearing speculated stories that people die from not passing motion.

Hemorrhoids or commonly known as piles, has been bugging me since i was perhaps 8 or 9.
For serious cases of piles, it could lead to colon or even rectal cancer.
It is the swelling of dilated veins around your anus, and they feel like lumps.
One evening, my piles hurt me so bad that i really couldn’t take it anymore.
I was reluctant to tell my parents about it, because my dad especially, being the health freak that he is, would not let me off the hook and the constant deafening nagging would begin.
However, this time i had no choice, because i knew, it was not my usual piles that hurt me a little,
my bowel movements were practically immobilized.
It has been more than a week since i went to the toilet and this routine habit started to scare me.
I told my mum about it, and she told me to use a soap, as like in the kampong days.
Worse method ever, no one should ever try it because it made my condition worse and now listen to what happened next.
So my mum shaved a soap thin, like the shape of a cone, so i supposedly can stick it up my asshole to ease the flow of my bowels.
I did it, as she told me to, and being the careless person i am, i probably exerted too much force.
It didn’t help at all, my bowels still couldn’t make it out.
I started bleeding, and i thought it was my piles that were bleeding,
the method didn’t work
so i decided to just go to bed and hopefully it will be better the next day.
The next day came and as i tried to get out of bed,
I shrieked.
It was hurting so badly, down there.
I could not walk properly, and i walked as if i was balancing a ball between my legs.
Or like my brother-in-law said: ‘Looked as if i was sodomised by 10 Arnold Schwarzeneggers’
Obviously, i couldn’t sit too.
I went ahead to school
and it was the worse day of my life.
I called my dad and told him that this could not wait and i needed to seek help immediately.
He booked an appointment and brought me to a chinese sinseh that night.
Another terrible move.
The sinseh checked me and told me the bad news.
My asshole was torn.
There was a deep cut and it split.
All because of what i did the night before, by shoving the soap up my anus.
The bleeding was caused by the wound.
And that was just the tip of the ice berg.
(I don’t blame my Mum, she was just trying to help)
The worse news came about my piles.
The sinseh told me i had 9 piles, internally and externally.
That is worse than the piles of a 70-year-old, she told me.
I wanted to cry, i felt so guilty,
What have i been doing to my body?
She had to operate on me immediately,
and she went on with it without any anesthesia.
She said that it would just sting a little, because she was using this electric metal zapper, apparently to zap it apart so that it would fall out as the days go by.
She used the term ‘Zha4 Po4″, which in literal translation, is bomb it apart.
What came next,
words cannot describe,
because its the worse pain i was ever put through, and i was practically steps away from hell’s gate.
Every single time she zapped me, i screamed and i sobbed and i was shaking in pain, and fear.
I was at my wit’s end, when she started to zap my internal piles.
It felt like someone using a very sharp knife, stabbing it up your asshole and then twist it.
I think it was worse than getting a tattoo on your rib,
Yeah probably is.
I was praying to every single god out there to save me,
To save me from this insane pain i was going through.
I was THIS CLOSE to losing my consciousness.
I had no more strength left, from tolerating the pain and from crying.
I think the sinseh was shocked too, because it was not supposed to hurt this bad.
She said it was because of my torn asshole.
I say its because She Sucked.
I can’t even imagine how my dad felt when he was helplessly standing outside the surgery room, listening to my every weep and scream.
I think the surgery went on for 45 minutes and when she was finally done,
i just laid there and cry,
and cry,
And cry.
When i got off the table,
i was literally on my knees,
my dad came in to help me up.
I made my mum so worried as i called her over the phone.
As i was sobbing, i told them that i was going to bring gallons of water to school everyday from now onwards.

And i was Never, Ever, Not drinking water again.
The sinseh stuck a thick roll of cotton up my anus and it felt weird.
(like i was indirectly having anal sex but that aside)
I was only allowed to remove it when i passed motion.
The first time i did after the surgery,
it was a gory sight.
Blood splurted and splattered all over the toilet bowl.
I reckoned blood from the internal piles clotted up and just gushed out when i removed the roll of cotton.
Subsequently, i got better and recovered.
I had to sleep on my stomach for days.
Thank God, the piles don’t bother me anymore.
I am a very conscious eater now and i drinks tonns of water.
It is a very common disorder but it could also be a mask of cancer.
Piles can be hereditary or could be caused by a low-fiber diet, lack of exercise, pregnancy, obesity etc.
I am never going back to that lifestyle again because i still want to lead a long life.
If like me, your piles are bugging you way too much and you’re experiencing pain, seek help.
But, go to a hospital instead if you ever need surgery. (Its fast and painless)
Mine’s an extreme case, and it usually isn’t that bad.
Like they all say,
Drink 8 glasses of water a day,
it’ll never go wrong.
Really, I’m a Testimonial to that.
I hope none of you ever have to go through what i did.

♥x, S.L

2 Responses to “My ass has a story too.”

  1. Ynee January 29, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    >I feel like a terrible friend. I've never heard this story before :/


  1. 19 things(you would never know) to mark my 20th. « Love yourself, Start Living. - September 27, 2011

    […] probably know of this if you read this entry. I’ve had 9 piles and went to a sinseh and undergone a 45-minute […]

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